Beer Theories

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, “It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.”
- Babe Ruth

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”
- Lyndon B. Johnson

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
- Paul Hornung

“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.”
- H. L. Mencken

“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!”
- George Bernard Shaw

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
- Benjamin Franklin

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.”
- Dave Barry

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
- W. C. Fields

Remember “I” before “E”, except in Budweiser.
- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
- Leo Durocher